The Next Questions

The 'Ask Cell' cast.

Cell: Host/Advisor

Captain Ginyu: Annoying Camera Man

AnthyR: Site owner, Producer

AnthyR paces the floor impatiently. She looks at her watch, then up at the door.

AnthyR: Where are those guys?? They're late! I don't pay them to be late!!!!!

Suddenly Ginyu walks in

AnthyR: (glaring) Ginyu! Where in the H.F.I.L have you been?!

Captain Ginyu: (looking around) Hey! Bug Man isn't even here yet! So what does it matter if I'm a few minutes late...we can't do the show without him anyway. (takes a seat on Cell's stool)

AnthyR: You were thirty minutes late, you idiot!

Captain Ginyu: Oh. (shrugs) Hey!!!! If Bugsy doesn't show, then that means I get to host the show today, right?

AnthyR: (looking horrified) NO! We can't do the show without Cell! He's the star! It's called, Ask Cell afterall.....(sighs) Well, we can't wait anymore...I guess we'll have to begin.. (gulps).. without him.

Captain Ginyu: Yeah!!!!!! Finally it's Ginyu's time to shine!! (Grabs the printouts from Anthy) I'll read the first letter!!!!

AnthyR: Dear God no.....



Captain Ginyu: That's a good question. I'll tell ya why, Harold ol''s cuz he's STUPID! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

AnthyR: (scowling) Ginyu, you goon. He didn't NEED to absorb any Saiyans, because Dr. Gero had already taken the cells of Goku and Vegeta.

Captain Ginyu: So?

AnthyR: (sighing in exasperation) Goku and Vegeta are both Saiyans you idiot!!!

Captain Ginyu: Sticks and stones, AnthyRose...sticks and stones....

AnthyR: Oh for the love of.... Ginyu! Gimme those letters!!

Captain Ginyu: But I wanna read 'em!!!!!!!!!

AnthyR: Ginyu stop being such a baby!!!!

Ginyu runs around the room with AnthyR chasing him trying to get the emails back, when suddenly Cell walks in.

Cell: ....Fools! What are you doing? There will be no running on my show!

Captain Ginyu: You were late, so our wonderful producer decided that I should read the letters for a change.

AnthyR: I did not!!!! And Cell where have you been?!

Cell: (ignores them both and takes a seat on his stool) Alright..who's been sitting on my stool? (frowns)

AnthyR: (looks at Ginyu)

Captain Ginyu: It wasn't me!

Cell: ...Just get behind the camera and start filming.

Captain Ginyu: .....aren't you gonna yell at him for being late?

AnthyR: Ginyu, just shut up and film Cell.

Captain Ginyu: .....

hi i whant to draw u cell(perfect cell) can u tell me how?anyway i think that u were way stronger than gohan.prince veggta realy killed u.


Captain Ginyu: You got that right, sister. Vegeta kicked the crap outta him.

AnthyR: Ginyu!

Captain Ginyu: ...well he did....

Cell: (rubs chin arrogantly) Well SADOZAIA, I understand your urge to draw my perfect face. I have that very same urge myself sometimes.

AnthyR: um...okaay....

Cell: And I too, agree that I was stronger than that wretched little boy, Gohan. It was only a matter of time before I showed him what was what.

Captain Ginyu: Oh yea. You REALLY showed him....

Cell: (ignoring Ginyu) And as for Vegeta killing me, (begins to laugh) I really must beg to differ. Vegeta is nothing more than the Jealous Brattish prince of a dead race...a race that was doomed from the very begining by it's sheer stupidity and weakness. But, seeing as how you complimented me, I'll let that one slide...

Captain Ginyu: Yea right. It's just cuz you don't have a response to that statement, you jerk.

Cell: What?! How dare you, you...theif!

Captain Ginyu: HA! Atleast I never got killed!

Cell: Instead of stealing bodies you should steal some common sense!

AnthyR: Alright, ALRIGHT! Must I be forced to referee EVERYTHING you two do?! Ginyu, just SHUT UP! Cell, read another question.

Captain Ginyu: ...atleast I was smart enough not to get killed....

AnthyR: GINYU!

Cell: ....pathetic...

Why did you KILL Trunks!!!!!!!!!!!


Cell: ...

AnthyR: Boy.. She sounds a miffed....

Captain Ginyu: Miffed? I'd say she's downright pissed.

AnthyR: Oh! Wait a sec! There was another part to her email.

Why did you god damn Kill Trunks!!!!!!!!! And do you know Trunks' favorite color?


Cell: (Looking angry) First off, Trunks was a whining, sniffling, soft hearted BRAT who only cared about impressing his father; whom of which is also a brat. I'd kill him AGAIN if I got the chance! (laughs) BOTH of them! And SECONDLY, who cares what his favorite color is? I certainly don't. And how dare you ask me that? Do I look like I know or care about such irrelovent things? Hmph. (crosses his arms)

AnthyR: Cell! What a horrible thing to say! Mirai Trunks was a sweet, kind hearted boy!! You could take a lesson from him! Now Chibi Trunks was a TOTALLY different story...

Captain Ginyu: Chibi Trunks is a brat.

Cell: I know. I'd like to get my hands on him and blast him to-

AnthyR: Hey!

Cell: (sighs) ...

AnthyR: Ok. We all agree that Chibi Trunks was a brat...but look at his parents! Both Bulma and Vegeta are spoiled, so what can you expect?

Captain Ginyu: I'd like to spank Vegeta.

Cell: ....(shoots Ginyu an odd look)...tell me I didn't just hear that....

AnthyR: ...Ginyu! All I know is that you'd better be kidding!

Captain Ginyu: But he really needs one!

Cell:'re just asking for it aren't you?

Captain Ginyu: Asking for what?

AnthyR: ..Um...ok. I think now would be a good time to read another letter...

Cell: ...yes.

If you're in love with android 18, why did you suck her up?Why do you look like a bug?Why are you so WEAK? Even I can destroy you with one pinky blow.And if someone blows off your head, how can you regenerate if you cant think?

~A G Gautam

Cell: WEAK?! angry for words)

AnthyR: (looking scared) Uh oh.......


AnthyR: Um.............

Captain Ginyu: It says so right on this website in the #18: Cell's Secret Love section. Yep. That's what it says. And I have to admit. You did sound like you liked her.

AnthyR: GINYU! Do you have a death wish or something?!

Cell: I DO NOT LIKE #18!!!!!!!!!!!!

Captain Ginyu: Then why are you getting so defensive? It's ok. Just admit you had a little crush on her.

AnthyR: (glaring) Cell! I will kick the H.F.I.L outta you if I find out you still like her!!!!!!!!!!

Cell: When did I ever say I liked her in the first place?!!!!!

Captain Ginyu: Well, you all but spelled it out in the things you said to her.

Cell: Quiet you! (turns to the camera) And to answer your question A G Gautam, I could regenerate without a head because unlike YOU, I am a superior being! , each of my cells possess intelligence that was stored away..which is more than I can say for you!!!! You'd just better be glad I don't know where you live or I'd-

AnthyR: Cell! No threatening!!!!!!

Captain Ginyu: He is so childish.....

AnthyR: (sighs) Ginyu's right. Really Cell. I would have expected this sort of behavior from Imperfect Cell, but certainly not from YOU.

Cell: ...Ignorant humans...what do you know anyway? Your species is FAR from perfect.....

Captain Ginyu: (laughs and points his finger) Awwwww..look! He's pouting!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

AnthyR: Awwww...Cell!! Does somebody need a hug?


Anthy runs up and hugs Cell before he can react.

Cell: What are you doing? Don't touch me.

Captain Ginyu: Hey!!!!!!! You never hug me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AnthyR: (reaches into her pocket) Well, I wasn't going to give this to you on this show, but seeing as how you're so sad and all, I figure this'll would be good for you.

Cell: ..?

Dear Ultimate Perfection, may I please ask you simple questions? My questions are; "What happened to the Cell jr.s after your nemesis, Son Gohan, turn them into powder with just one hit with his fist or a strong kick with his leg?" "Are they in the 'HOME FOR INFINATE LOSERS' or what?" "Did the Cell jr.s ever had names or are they just named after your greatness?" And finally; "Do the Cell jr.s have a gender?" Those are all my questions that I ask of you. If you don't want to answer any of them, Cell, I'll not misconstrue. And if any of them offend you, I humbly ask for your pardon.

Thank You!


Captain Ginyu: Feh. This is stupid! I don't like this letter at all! What kinda loser thinks like this anyway?! I mean, Bugsy isn't perfect OR ultimate! And how come I never get any letters?

AnthyR: Because #1.) You don't have your own show and #2.) Nobody likes you.

Cell: (eyes shining) Yes...these are the kind of letters that really accentuate my perfection! (turns to the camera smirking) Well T.A.B, it seems as if you're smarter than the average human. (laughs) As for your questions, The Cell Jr.'s just...well....I don't know. They aren't important anyway.

AnthyR: (gasps) Cell! What a thing to say about your children...your own flesh and blood!!!!!

Cell: (ignoring Anthy) And as for your next one, the Jr.'s were basically miniature copies of me, so I suppose if you got right down to it, they're the same gender as I.

Captain Ginyu: ...which is?

Cell: (glares at Ginyu)....I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

AnthyR: (gasps) Ginyu! How Dare you insult Cell's man-li-ness?!

Captain Ginyu: Man?! How do you know WHAT he is?! If he's supposed to be the perfect being, then he wouldn't be a boy or a girl...he'd be both.

AnthyR: (horrified) Boy! Never say such things! Cell was made from the cells of all the greatest fighters...which all happen to be MALES thank you very much!!!! ...well..except for Frieza, but we're not counting Frieza!

Cell: Are you quite done?

AnthyR: um....sorry.

Cell: Ok. (turns back to the camera) Well T.A.B., thank you for your questions. Except for that part about that wretched Gohan hitting my Jr.'s with one hit and turning them to dust, (glares into the camera) You had a very intelligent letter. (smirks) Certainly worthy of my attention atleast.

Captain Ginyu: Oh please.

AnthyR: Ginyu! Don't be jealous of Cell's success. (Stands in front of the camera) Anyways, be sure and tune in to our next Ask Cell, where we'll have a very special guest star....Chang Wufei from Gundam Wing.

Ginyu: What the...?! Ew. That show is gay.

AnthyR: (runs up and smacks Ginyu upside his head) Ginyu, you're gay! Especially after that comment you made about spanking Vegeta...

Captain Ginyu: WHAT?!

Cell: (laughing)

AnthyR: And if Gundam Wing is so gay, how come I saw you watching it the other day?

Captain Ginyu: ...I wasn't! There was else on at the time....

Cell: (getting up) I think I'll go frame this letter...

Captain Ginyu: I wanna letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cell: Weren't you already told before that nobody likes you? I certainly don't.

Captain Ginyu: Well fine! I don't like you either so there!

Cell: ...

AnthyR: ...(sighing) Alright...I guess that's a wrap.....

Captain Ginyu: I WANNA LETTER!!!!!!!

Cell: This is my show and I won't have you getting letters!

AnthyR: See ya folks!

Captain Ginyu: And send me some letters!

Cell: You'd better not!