Ask Cell: 1st Query
The 'Ask Cell' cast.
Cell: Host/Advisor
Captain Ginyu: Annoying camera Man
AnthyR: Site owner, Producer
Dear Cell,
I got a problem. You see, you claim to be the ‘perfect’ warrior. Well if you’re so perfect, then how come you got beat by a little kid? And if you’re an android, how can you die? I just want you to know that I’m glad you got sent to H.F.I.L., cuz you’re the biggest loser there is! Oh yea. And can you tell me how to shoot beams and stuff from my hands?
~Landark
Cell: (crumbling paper angrily)
Cell: First of all, I highly doubt that this could be classified as a ‘problem’. And SECONDLY…, I AM the PERFECT WARRIOR!! I was NOT defeated. HOW DARE YOU!!!!! And I am NOT a 'loser'... quite the contrary infact. I have one of the highest I.Q’s on the show. Much higher than yours anyway. (smirks) And finally...let me get this straight. You insult me, doubt my power...and then expect me, to teach you how to FIGHT?!
Captain Ginyu: (From behind camera) Hey Mr. Perfect..techinally he just wanted to know how to shoot ki...not fight. And technically you did get beaten or else you wouldn't have died in the first place...and technically you are a loser because you were in the HOME FOR INFINATE LOSERS, and-
Cell: (glaring) Quiet! Do your job and film me! You don’t get paid to talk.
Captain Ginyu: (sticks out his tongue) HAAA!!!! The jokes on you, pal!!! I don't get paid at all!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ....wait a minute..
Cell: ........(ignoring Ginyu) Anyway...'Landark', how DARE you insult me? Now I'm afraid I'll have to KILL you.
AnthyR: (entering the room) Boy! What is WRONG with you?! There won't be none of that goin' on here! What kind of a show do you think this is??!
Captain Ginyu: How come I don't get paid?? Does he get paid?
Cell: Ofcourse I do. What kind of fool do you take me for?
Captain Ginyu: What?!
AnthyR: (Getting nervous) um...ok...Cell, why don't you read another email? (hands him a printout)
Cell: It had better not be another 'Landark'...
Captain Ginyu: (laughing) I liked him.
AnthyR: (sighing) Ginyu, nobody cares. Just film Cell.
Captain Ginyu: (Grumbles from behind camera)
Hi Cell. One question is what is your true perfect form. You know the one after you eat 16. Can you send me a pic? Questions: What is the limit to the number of Cell J.R. you can make? Can you make different color Cell J.R.? What is it like as an embrio?
-Anonymous
Cell: .......
Captain Ginyu: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cell: (glaring) Be Quiet!!!!!
Captain Ginyu: That's a good question...what is your true perfect form?
AnthyR: You never told me you had another form!!!!!!
Cell: I don't, you bafoons!!!!
Captain Ginyu: Don't lie.
Cell: (angrily) I don't have to answer this.
AnthyR: (sighing) I guess we'll never find out...Somebody destroyed #16.
(AnthyR and Ginyu glare at Cell)
Cell: Stop that!
AnthyR: Stop that Ginyu!!
Captain Ginyu: Hey! You did it too!!
AnthyR: Cell, please continue.
Captain Ginyu: You always take his side!!!!! (pouts)
Cell: ....Anyway...no. I will NOT send you a picture...
Captain Ginyu: Meanie!
Cell: ..because this IS my perfect form.
Captain Ginyu: Is not.
Cell: Is t- (getting angry) I refuse to be forced into your childish debate!
Captain Ginyu: Why? You scared?
AnthyR: FINISH THE LETTER!!!!
Cell: ....(reading) 'The number of Cell Jr's you can make'.....'Can you make different color Cell Jr's'...What kind of questions are these?
Captain Ginyu: (laughing) Different colors...that reminds me of Skittles.
AnthyR: (frownnig) Ew. How can you even make the comparison?
Captain Ginyu: I like Skittles. Once I almost accidently switched bodies with a pack.
Cell: .....
AnthyR: ....(looking freaked) Ginyu!!! What is wrong with you?!
Cell: (ignoring them both) 'What was it like as an Embryo'...well, to answer this question, it was very...uneventful. Being that I was in a clear tank, I was able to see and hear everything going on around me. Not that I cared, so long as I survived to attain my Ultimate Perfection.
Captain Ginyu: (rolling his eyes) Whatever.
AnthyR: I have to agree. That's getting pretty old, Cell.
Captain Ginyu: You mean....you agree with me? You actually agreed with me over bug man over there?
Cell: ...
AnthyR: Nevermind. Cell is right.
Captain Ginyu: (glares)
AnthyR: (Smiling) Alright Cellsy-poo, why don't you read the last letter?
Cell: ....
Captain Ginyu: Cell-sy what?!
?#1:Why didnt u absorb # 16? In his condition it would have been easy. ?#2:Do u have Cells of ALL the best fighters? ?#3: Thats where u got your name isnt it?
-Anonymous
Cell: What is the preoccupation with me absorbing 16?
Captain Ginyu: If you ask me, that guy was a freak.
Cell: Well no one asked you so just keep quiet.
AnthyR: I have to agree.
Captain Ginyu: With what? The preoccupation with 16 or him telling me to shut up?
AnthyR: ....Ginyu shut up.
Captain Ginyu: You always take his side! (glares)
Cell: Doesn't anyone remember the episode where I tried to absorb #16?
AnthyR: (raises hand) I do! I do!!!!!! You stuck your tail in his neck, but it didn't work because he was built differently than the other androids, and his power supply was in some other part of his body or something. I guess no one remembered because you were that ugly Imperfect Cell.
Captain Ginyu: He's still ugly.
AnthyR: (Scowling) Ginyu, as Zarbon would say, you have no right to call him ugly, looking the way you do.
Captain Ginyu: What does that mean?
Cell: It means that I'm perfect and you aren't. Getting back to this letter... 'Do u have Cells of ALL the best fighters?'
Captain Ginyu: I can answer that. He DOESN'T have all the cells of the best fighters, because he doesn't have MY Cells. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
AnthyR: (scowling) Ginyu, if you don't shut that ugly mouth of your's, I'll send Cell over there to do something not very nice.
Captain Ginyu: What's he gonna do? Absorb me? (begins to laugh)
Cell: (looking disgusted) ......
AnthyR: Boy please. NOBODY would want to absorb you. (sighs) Ok, Ginyu's getting crazy again and we're getting nowhere. I guess we'd better end this....(turns) I'm leaving. Cell, lets go.
Captain Ginyu: Wait!
Cell: ...
AnthyR: Oh yea. Stay tuned for the next 'Ask Cell'. So if you have a question about anything....just ask Cell. Hey! That's a cool catch phrase! You should say it at the end of every show, Cell!
Cell: ..I barely get to say anything at all....
Captain Ginyu: (frowns)...how come I don't get to say anything?
Cell: Because everything that comes out of your mouth is ignorant.
AnthyR: You got that right.
Captain Ginyu: (shocked) What?!
AnthyR: You talk too much and still have nothing to say. We need someone to film Cell...not insult his greatness.
Captain Ginyu: But-but...!!!!
AnthyR: Cell lets go.
Cell gets up and flies out the window.
AnthyR: Wait!!!!! I meant with ME!!! (sighs) I just know he meant to do that. Where is he going anyway?? Doesn't he realize that he's the one who brought me here? NOW how am I supposed to get home??
Captain Ginyu: I could fly you. It'll cost you though. (grins evily)
AnthyR: ....um...nevermind. I can take the bus. (turns and waves to the camera) See ya!
Captain Ginyu: ....